I didn’t realize it had been quite *this* long since I’d last blathered on here, but damn, it’s been almost a month!  A lot’s happend in that time.  The car guy and I are still together and making a pretty decent go of it, I’m happy to report.  We’ve had some minor issues, but we’ve worked them out.  The “crisis du jour” is his phone is dying so he has to borrow his friend’s phone to call me, which means I don’t get to talk to him near enough, but he’s working on it.  At least I got to talk to him today – yesterday I missed him because I was teaching when he tried to call.

Anyway, life is pretty decent right now.  Got my man, got my health – sort of, got a good friend I’ve been talking to a lot lately…  what more can a girl ask for?

As for the dreaded DBT class, I’ve pretty well talked my mom into letting me stop taking it.  The DR who’s leading the group just totally rubs me the wrong way.  I promised Mom that I would read the stupid manual and do the worksheets on my own and she seems to be pretty satisfied with that.  Now to see what kind of reaction I get from my therapist, I’m guessing it won’t be pretty.  But I don’t care – it’s my life and I’m tired of wasting it on this stupid crap.

I’ve been having some trouble with my bipolar lately.  I just can’t seem to get enough quality sleep anymore.  The DR upped my one med, decreased the other, put me on a sedative, took me off the sedative, took me off an anxiety pill…  I feel like a damn chemistry experiment!  At one point – while the car guy was in the hospital with appendacitis – I got suicidal and the DR wanted to put me in the hospital, but I didn’t let her.  I told her I could stay safe on my own and I did, thanks to a lot of help from Mom.  I still have twinges of those feelings every now and then, but certainly not bad enough to be hospitalized again.  I told Mom that I finally learned my lesson last time I was in.  And I did.

The BPD keeps throwing me for a loop.  Just when I think I’ve finally conquered it, something happens and I open my big dumb mouth and insert my foot up to my hip.  Gotta work on the whole “think before you speak” thing.  Shooting from the hip is not always a good thing.

I shall endeavour to write more often now.  But probably not tomorrow – I’m going with my mom and my niece to the zoo in the morning before my psych appointment.  Enjoy the weekend!